Post by orochigeese on Feb 12, 2007 16:00:29 GMT -5
*We fade in on a graveyard in the rain. There are four seats and a small pulpit. The Orochi Army then shuffle in. OrochiGeese walks to the pulpit while Holly, Figaro, Clyde, and Johnny Wang go to the seats. They are all wearing black. Notable wardrobe tweaks include OrochiGeese wearing a suit with a gold tie and Holly wearing her Globally Honored Pants under a short black miniskirt. Why wear a miniskirt over pants? One of the more tame questions one would ask Holly, I presume. Johnny Wang is wearing his McPro Cruiserweight Championship on his waist along with his Tag Championship on his shoulder, as Figaro is doing. OrochiGeese clears his throat and begins speaking with a solemn face.*
OG: "We gather here today on his most unfortunate of occasions to mourn the passing of McPro."
*Holly starts to fake hysterical sobbing as Johnny Wang comforts her...with his hands.*
OG: "McPro was many things to many people. To the fans, it was a place to indulge in fried dough soaked in saturated fats. To new wrestlers, it was a place to ply their trade in front of hooting and hollerin ignorant locals. To veterans, it was a place to wrestle those that they have not yet faced in their careers."
OG: "But to one man, McPro was a dream come true. The fruition of his professional wrestling visions and tireless hard work. You might even say that...
*OG looks up with a sadistic grin and fire in his eyes*
OG: "That McPro was his intended legacy. YES...McPro was to be Twinky McLanahan's greatest legacy. The place where he instilled his Snack Road philosophy in students with the hopes of generations to come. And today, we lament it's passing while exploring its downfall."
*Mr. Figaro lets out a BIG sneeze and starts fake sobbing. Clyde hits him*
OG: "There are some that say McPro's tombstone epitaph will say as follows: "Lived and died by the pride of Twinky McLanahan." While that is a neat little inscription, it fails to delve into the truth of McPro's death."
OG: "We know Twinky McLanahan is a man of passion in the ring. Let it never be said that he is one without the will to win. It pains me to admit it but I have been bested by him before: IN the ring, that is. For as competitive as we have been with each other in that setting, it is an entirely different story outside of it."
OG: "Twinky McLanahan will never be one tenth of the businessman I am. And that brings me to what many see as the reason for McPro's untimely demise: his deal with KingPin. In my years up to and including my position as the owner and top executive of many companies, I have learned one crucial rule."
OG: "Never make a deal or bargain that your lawyers can not get you out of. And that is just what Twinky did. He made a deal and did not provide a loophole. Some would disagree, but since he foolishly left it up to his enemy to judge the outcome, he was doomed from the start. Poor decision, McLanahan."
OG: "And yet...it wasn't that poor decision that truly killed McPro. Only ONE thing killed it...and it was us! Orochi Army killed McPro...we were the REAL reason behind its downfall."
*The seated members stand up and start brandishing and rubbing their titles. And yes, that involves Holly (and Johnny Wang) thoroughly rubbing her Globally Honored Pants.*
OG: "When I came into McPro last year, I promised ONE thing: That Orochi Army would achieve total dominance. And we had made two major steps towards that goal before this past show. Figaro and Wang earned themselves a Tag Title shot and Holly earned herself a shot at the Globally Honored Pants. And so Twinky McLanahan saw it...he KNEW that our goal was almost complete. Do you realize what that did?"
OG: "For you chess players out there, it put McPro in CHECK. At that point, Twinky felt us breathing down his neck. Twinky saw the reality of our dominance forming its inescapable shape. And because of that, his resolve started to weaken. When a man's resolve weakens, he makes decisions that puts his own values at risk. THAT is when Twinky made the deal with KingPin. Not because of any Midwest Invasion, but because he saw his world would soon be consumed by a greater, more dominant force: Orochi Army."
OG: "And for those that doubt that interpretation, consider this. By the start of the final match at the New Years Show, we had advanced our position. Better yet, we had FINALIZED it. We no longer just had McPro in check, now we had earned the elusive checkmate. We had WON. For the first time in history, all of McPro's Titles were held by one force: us. Holly won back her Globally Honored Pants, Johnny Wang still had his Cruiserweight Championship, and he and Mr. Figaro won the McPro Tag Championships."
OG: "And that...THAT is the real reason you saw the defeated look of despair on Twinky's face after the ma in event of that show. Not because Kingpin had beaten Nick Strife...but because WE had already beaten Twinky. His resolve was gone...he did not even attempt to fight against Kingpin to save McPro."
*OG laughs heartily*
OG: "Imagine THAT! The man of passion and pride, Twinky McLanahan, former UWH Champion....he just stood there defeated! He gave up! Have you EVER seen Twinky McLanahan do that before!? NO! So I ask you all, what would it take to bring a man like that down on his knees in utter defeat?"
OG: "How about the knowledge that I, his greatest rival, has done exactly what I said I would? That my Orochi Army...MY legacy took what it wanted out of his!! And that he was not able to stop it!? That was the knowledge that Twinky suffered with by the end of the New Years Show. That was the realization that made Twinky McLanahan QUIT. That is now part of my legacy...making Twinky lose his own by quitting."
OG: "But while McPro is dead, it is the achievements of the Orochi Army that will not be forgotten.
*OG looks at Mr. Figaro*
OG: "Mr. Figaro, your performance throughout your McPro tenure has been nothing short of inspiring. Your final victory and Tag Title win caps your dominance. I should call you the "Alpha-Omega" man for now on. As you were one half of the first FPN Tag Champions and one half of the last McPro Tag Champions."
Mr. Figaro: "Does that mean I get to be both behind AND in front of a girl at the same time?"
*Mr. Clyde hits Mr. Figaro again.*
OG: "Johnny Wang...McPro's first ever DOUBLE champion. Your Cruiserweight Title reign has been one of McPro legend. When I had first heard that Holly signed you onto the McPro branch of the Orochi Army, i was skeptical. But over the last few months, my doubts have been allayed. You are now a FULL fledged member of the Orochi Army. Congratulations, you have earned it. I take special enjoyment in the fact that we stole you from Twinky's Snack Road movement AND that your career has skyrocketed ever since then."
OG: "Mr. Clyde, you have not been in McPro as long as the others. But you got that taco boy fired. I do not think that I have EVER laughed as hard as I did seeing his sullen, defeated face. You would have also won the McPro Tag Titles with Mr. Figaro had Upper Class Connection not cheated."
OG: "And finally, my greatest student, Holly. You have made history by being the two time Globally Honored Pants Holder. You have also made history by being both the first and last Pants holder. Finally, and MOST impressively, you have unified the Globally Honored Pants with the OG-Joshi World Championship. For all you have done in the last few years, my pride and confidence in you knows no boundaries. And I know it gives you special satisfaction that McPro held so many of its shows near your hometown in South Dakota: making those who doubted you forcefully see your excellence and achievement."
OG: "And what of me? What of MY accomplishments? Gaze upon these four warriiors and you will see my face in each and every one of them. You will see my leadership, my tutilage, and my wrath. They have done everything I asked of them, and more. Nobody in McPro ever thought the Upper Class Connection could be beaten for their titles. And we did just that. Chapel Hilcrest, I'm afraid I had the last laugh, my friend. But think of the bright side, at least this gives you more time to protect your wife and daughter!"
*OG laughs again but then grows somber*
OG: "I will send out a small note of thanks to Kingpin for his actions. It takes a strong man to not be afraid to put the finishing touches on a promotion that we had already brought down to its knees."
Holly: "Just ask Kingpin about all the things he did to Jo Ryder when SHE was in that position!"
OG: "McPro, it has been excellent being a part of you...and then taking you apart. We'll always have the memories AND your Championships. Most importantly, the achievement of destroying Twinky's legacy has now been added to my legacy. And for that, this day brings more pleasure to me then any one in recent memory. I'm make sure to remind him of that as I continue exploiting his OG-FPD contract."
OG: "Friends, McPro fans, and enemies: May you remember McPro for what it is, what it became, and what it never got a chance to be thanks to us. Let us pray, like Chapel Hilcrest would, for the soul of McPro to reach its destination in the afterlife...which just happens to be the realm...of chaos."
*OG leaves the pulpit and begins walking away as the other Orochi Army members follow him outside the graveyard. Camera switches to the McPro tombstone as we see the epitaph: "McPro: Born out of passion, died out of chaotic despair." And then we fade out dramatically*
OG: "We gather here today on his most unfortunate of occasions to mourn the passing of McPro."
*Holly starts to fake hysterical sobbing as Johnny Wang comforts her...with his hands.*
OG: "McPro was many things to many people. To the fans, it was a place to indulge in fried dough soaked in saturated fats. To new wrestlers, it was a place to ply their trade in front of hooting and hollerin ignorant locals. To veterans, it was a place to wrestle those that they have not yet faced in their careers."
OG: "But to one man, McPro was a dream come true. The fruition of his professional wrestling visions and tireless hard work. You might even say that...
*OG looks up with a sadistic grin and fire in his eyes*
OG: "That McPro was his intended legacy. YES...McPro was to be Twinky McLanahan's greatest legacy. The place where he instilled his Snack Road philosophy in students with the hopes of generations to come. And today, we lament it's passing while exploring its downfall."
*Mr. Figaro lets out a BIG sneeze and starts fake sobbing. Clyde hits him*
OG: "There are some that say McPro's tombstone epitaph will say as follows: "Lived and died by the pride of Twinky McLanahan." While that is a neat little inscription, it fails to delve into the truth of McPro's death."
OG: "We know Twinky McLanahan is a man of passion in the ring. Let it never be said that he is one without the will to win. It pains me to admit it but I have been bested by him before: IN the ring, that is. For as competitive as we have been with each other in that setting, it is an entirely different story outside of it."
OG: "Twinky McLanahan will never be one tenth of the businessman I am. And that brings me to what many see as the reason for McPro's untimely demise: his deal with KingPin. In my years up to and including my position as the owner and top executive of many companies, I have learned one crucial rule."
OG: "Never make a deal or bargain that your lawyers can not get you out of. And that is just what Twinky did. He made a deal and did not provide a loophole. Some would disagree, but since he foolishly left it up to his enemy to judge the outcome, he was doomed from the start. Poor decision, McLanahan."
OG: "And yet...it wasn't that poor decision that truly killed McPro. Only ONE thing killed it...and it was us! Orochi Army killed McPro...we were the REAL reason behind its downfall."
*The seated members stand up and start brandishing and rubbing their titles. And yes, that involves Holly (and Johnny Wang) thoroughly rubbing her Globally Honored Pants.*
OG: "When I came into McPro last year, I promised ONE thing: That Orochi Army would achieve total dominance. And we had made two major steps towards that goal before this past show. Figaro and Wang earned themselves a Tag Title shot and Holly earned herself a shot at the Globally Honored Pants. And so Twinky McLanahan saw it...he KNEW that our goal was almost complete. Do you realize what that did?"
OG: "For you chess players out there, it put McPro in CHECK. At that point, Twinky felt us breathing down his neck. Twinky saw the reality of our dominance forming its inescapable shape. And because of that, his resolve started to weaken. When a man's resolve weakens, he makes decisions that puts his own values at risk. THAT is when Twinky made the deal with KingPin. Not because of any Midwest Invasion, but because he saw his world would soon be consumed by a greater, more dominant force: Orochi Army."
OG: "And for those that doubt that interpretation, consider this. By the start of the final match at the New Years Show, we had advanced our position. Better yet, we had FINALIZED it. We no longer just had McPro in check, now we had earned the elusive checkmate. We had WON. For the first time in history, all of McPro's Titles were held by one force: us. Holly won back her Globally Honored Pants, Johnny Wang still had his Cruiserweight Championship, and he and Mr. Figaro won the McPro Tag Championships."
OG: "And that...THAT is the real reason you saw the defeated look of despair on Twinky's face after the ma in event of that show. Not because Kingpin had beaten Nick Strife...but because WE had already beaten Twinky. His resolve was gone...he did not even attempt to fight against Kingpin to save McPro."
*OG laughs heartily*
OG: "Imagine THAT! The man of passion and pride, Twinky McLanahan, former UWH Champion....he just stood there defeated! He gave up! Have you EVER seen Twinky McLanahan do that before!? NO! So I ask you all, what would it take to bring a man like that down on his knees in utter defeat?"
OG: "How about the knowledge that I, his greatest rival, has done exactly what I said I would? That my Orochi Army...MY legacy took what it wanted out of his!! And that he was not able to stop it!? That was the knowledge that Twinky suffered with by the end of the New Years Show. That was the realization that made Twinky McLanahan QUIT. That is now part of my legacy...making Twinky lose his own by quitting."
OG: "But while McPro is dead, it is the achievements of the Orochi Army that will not be forgotten.
*OG looks at Mr. Figaro*
OG: "Mr. Figaro, your performance throughout your McPro tenure has been nothing short of inspiring. Your final victory and Tag Title win caps your dominance. I should call you the "Alpha-Omega" man for now on. As you were one half of the first FPN Tag Champions and one half of the last McPro Tag Champions."
Mr. Figaro: "Does that mean I get to be both behind AND in front of a girl at the same time?"
*Mr. Clyde hits Mr. Figaro again.*
OG: "Johnny Wang...McPro's first ever DOUBLE champion. Your Cruiserweight Title reign has been one of McPro legend. When I had first heard that Holly signed you onto the McPro branch of the Orochi Army, i was skeptical. But over the last few months, my doubts have been allayed. You are now a FULL fledged member of the Orochi Army. Congratulations, you have earned it. I take special enjoyment in the fact that we stole you from Twinky's Snack Road movement AND that your career has skyrocketed ever since then."
OG: "Mr. Clyde, you have not been in McPro as long as the others. But you got that taco boy fired. I do not think that I have EVER laughed as hard as I did seeing his sullen, defeated face. You would have also won the McPro Tag Titles with Mr. Figaro had Upper Class Connection not cheated."
OG: "And finally, my greatest student, Holly. You have made history by being the two time Globally Honored Pants Holder. You have also made history by being both the first and last Pants holder. Finally, and MOST impressively, you have unified the Globally Honored Pants with the OG-Joshi World Championship. For all you have done in the last few years, my pride and confidence in you knows no boundaries. And I know it gives you special satisfaction that McPro held so many of its shows near your hometown in South Dakota: making those who doubted you forcefully see your excellence and achievement."
OG: "And what of me? What of MY accomplishments? Gaze upon these four warriiors and you will see my face in each and every one of them. You will see my leadership, my tutilage, and my wrath. They have done everything I asked of them, and more. Nobody in McPro ever thought the Upper Class Connection could be beaten for their titles. And we did just that. Chapel Hilcrest, I'm afraid I had the last laugh, my friend. But think of the bright side, at least this gives you more time to protect your wife and daughter!"
*OG laughs again but then grows somber*
OG: "I will send out a small note of thanks to Kingpin for his actions. It takes a strong man to not be afraid to put the finishing touches on a promotion that we had already brought down to its knees."
Holly: "Just ask Kingpin about all the things he did to Jo Ryder when SHE was in that position!"
OG: "McPro, it has been excellent being a part of you...and then taking you apart. We'll always have the memories AND your Championships. Most importantly, the achievement of destroying Twinky's legacy has now been added to my legacy. And for that, this day brings more pleasure to me then any one in recent memory. I'm make sure to remind him of that as I continue exploiting his OG-FPD contract."
OG: "Friends, McPro fans, and enemies: May you remember McPro for what it is, what it became, and what it never got a chance to be thanks to us. Let us pray, like Chapel Hilcrest would, for the soul of McPro to reach its destination in the afterlife...which just happens to be the realm...of chaos."
*OG leaves the pulpit and begins walking away as the other Orochi Army members follow him outside the graveyard. Camera switches to the McPro tombstone as we see the epitaph: "McPro: Born out of passion, died out of chaotic despair." And then we fade out dramatically*
