Post by Joe Snack Road on Sept 27, 2006 13:11:58 GMT -5
“I’ve never really GOT why people look at me,” she says, letting the sentence hang out there for a moment, continuing, “I don’t think I have a lot to offer in that sense.”
Her, the girl most people refer to as McPro’s resident “Cosplay Princess” – Jenny McLanahan. The girl most people attribute to running McLanahan Pro while her (much more famous) older brother fulfills his duties as the WWA Unified World Heavyweight Championship, she certainly doesn’t dress like such – today’s interview, conducted in the Rushmore Mall food court, just outside of Aladdin’s Castle stands to prove it: dressed down in jeans, a pair of shirts (one black long sleeve below, a red McPro shirt above), sneakers and most surprisingly: a pair of glasses?
“Yeah, well,” Jenny dodges, “Turns out staring at a d20 for a few dozen hours in poor light starts to wear down your eyesight a bit.”
But, to the topic at hand, Jenny shakes her head and sips from her Orange Julius, “I never really thought of myself as anything resembling ‘cute.’ I spent years in jail – not cute. I didn’t really take good care of myself in high school – not cute. I worked at a McDonald’s for a year and a half – still not cute. Play D&D, video games, nerd out over Magic: The Gathering, read Penny Arcade religiously – only cute to like, ten percent of everybody in the US. I don’t know what the hell I did to become, like, actually lust-worthy by dudes.”
She kept going on the subject of cuteness, “I can look at another girl and say ‘Oh, she’s cute’ and not mean it in a lustful manner. I like girls, but, c’mon now. I’m going somewhere with this, by the way – see, Kristin Blade. I’m not gonna lie to you… she’s an okay wrestler and all, but the deciding comment was ‘We don’t have enough cute women in McPro.’ That just blew my mind to hear, but, I think we’ve seen less than cute actions from her, wouldn’t you?”
She sits forward, waving to a few teenagers in McPro shirts as they walk into Aladdin’s Castle, and she continues on another tangent, “That’s some dedicated kids, right there – look in that arcade, man, there’s like, a whole DDR team of guys and girls in McPro shirts. I get a kick out of that.”
Coming back to her point, “Kristin Blade, though, what a mind f*ck that is. She’s been all nice and stuff to people since coming in – she’s spent time at the McPro gym and she was nice to everybody, but that August show, and she went NUTS and hasn’t been seen anywhere but the McPro shows since. I want to know – where is she? What’s she doing? What’s she THINKING? God, how do you have so much going for you – looks, talent – that you make some bad decisions like that and just really screw yourself up?”
“I want you to make note of this, take it back to the McPro Wres News offices,” she directs, “I haven’t enjoyed a video game since I saw what Kristin Blade did to Juli Tanaka. The clack of the d20 sounds too much like the sound of Kristin jumping on Juli’s head, and even in the guitar chords I love so very much, I can’t rest – I want Kristin Blade in a McPro ring. I will make her submit, I will make her cry. And when I’m done, I will make her hurt.”
Her, the girl most people refer to as McPro’s resident “Cosplay Princess” – Jenny McLanahan. The girl most people attribute to running McLanahan Pro while her (much more famous) older brother fulfills his duties as the WWA Unified World Heavyweight Championship, she certainly doesn’t dress like such – today’s interview, conducted in the Rushmore Mall food court, just outside of Aladdin’s Castle stands to prove it: dressed down in jeans, a pair of shirts (one black long sleeve below, a red McPro shirt above), sneakers and most surprisingly: a pair of glasses?
“Yeah, well,” Jenny dodges, “Turns out staring at a d20 for a few dozen hours in poor light starts to wear down your eyesight a bit.”
But, to the topic at hand, Jenny shakes her head and sips from her Orange Julius, “I never really thought of myself as anything resembling ‘cute.’ I spent years in jail – not cute. I didn’t really take good care of myself in high school – not cute. I worked at a McDonald’s for a year and a half – still not cute. Play D&D, video games, nerd out over Magic: The Gathering, read Penny Arcade religiously – only cute to like, ten percent of everybody in the US. I don’t know what the hell I did to become, like, actually lust-worthy by dudes.”
She kept going on the subject of cuteness, “I can look at another girl and say ‘Oh, she’s cute’ and not mean it in a lustful manner. I like girls, but, c’mon now. I’m going somewhere with this, by the way – see, Kristin Blade. I’m not gonna lie to you… she’s an okay wrestler and all, but the deciding comment was ‘We don’t have enough cute women in McPro.’ That just blew my mind to hear, but, I think we’ve seen less than cute actions from her, wouldn’t you?”
She sits forward, waving to a few teenagers in McPro shirts as they walk into Aladdin’s Castle, and she continues on another tangent, “That’s some dedicated kids, right there – look in that arcade, man, there’s like, a whole DDR team of guys and girls in McPro shirts. I get a kick out of that.”
Coming back to her point, “Kristin Blade, though, what a mind f*ck that is. She’s been all nice and stuff to people since coming in – she’s spent time at the McPro gym and she was nice to everybody, but that August show, and she went NUTS and hasn’t been seen anywhere but the McPro shows since. I want to know – where is she? What’s she doing? What’s she THINKING? God, how do you have so much going for you – looks, talent – that you make some bad decisions like that and just really screw yourself up?”
“I want you to make note of this, take it back to the McPro Wres News offices,” she directs, “I haven’t enjoyed a video game since I saw what Kristin Blade did to Juli Tanaka. The clack of the d20 sounds too much like the sound of Kristin jumping on Juli’s head, and even in the guitar chords I love so very much, I can’t rest – I want Kristin Blade in a McPro ring. I will make her submit, I will make her cry. And when I’m done, I will make her hurt.”